


A Flower in Shade

by hhavenh



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Soen no Kiseki/Akatsuki no Megami | Fire Emblem Path of Radiance/Radiant Dawn, pre-PoR
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 02:03:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9101455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hhavenh/pseuds/hhavenh
Summary: If asked, if given the choice, Elincia wouldn't be a princess anymore.But no one asks.No one gives her that choice.





	

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr drabble

“Well done!” Uncle Renning is never so pleased as when Elincia has a sword in her hand. “Excellent work, my dear. You grow more skillful by the hour.”

Elincia’s cheeks flush in a pride too sudden and bright to resist. Her lips spread in a smile nearly so wide as her uncle’s, “I’ve been sure to practice every day.”

One of his brows arch in familiar sternness, “And surely you are as dedicated to your academics?”

“Of course!” Elincia’s smile does not quit, but her toes curl nervously in her boots, “I study just as often, right after chapel.”

Uncle Renning does not call her on the lie. He only gestures her indoors, his smile no less. “As I would expect, though one cannot deny that swordplay is far more invigorating.”

It is, but Elincia does not agree. There is humor in her uncle’s eye when she glances up, but Elincia knows better than to walk into so obvious a trap. “Perhaps,” she returns, her words taking on the measured tones that her parents always speak with when they come from the capital, “but both are far too necessary to favor one over the other.”

Uncle Renning snorts as he pushes the door open, “So you say, my dear.” His smile is no less, though Elincia knows that she will be scolded if she hasn’t seen to her studies before the next time he visits.

But those are worries for later.

When Elincia is again alone. Bereft of family or friends.

“Uncle?” He turns to her, but Elincia almost wishes he wouldn’t. “Do you truly think I’m getting better?”

His brows furrow as he takes her steel and puts it away. “There can be no doubt. Your wrist is stronger, your aim more precise. Soon we will have to fit you with a heavier blade.”

Elincia bites her lip, forced to clasp her hands since she no longer has a sword to grip tight instead, “Do-, do you think I could be as good as Lucia?”

“I see no reason why not.” He turns to her again, his eyes far sharper than Elincia would like. “Though she too has a far way to go. Given enough guidance and practice, you might one day be her equal or better.”

Her cheeks flush again, but Elincia is too uncertain to smile. She cannot even look at her uncle. Her heart is fast now. “Then-, then maybe I-, maybe I could-.” She stops, she has too. The words just won’t come. They’ve stuck to the inside of her throat and have choked her voice, they’ve made her breath shallow and her hands tight, so tight that she can’t even feel her fingers now-.

“Elincia.” Uncle Renning is reaching for her when Elincia looks back. She takes his hand and doesn’t resist when he sits her on his knee. There is nothing in the world so comforting, nothing so very familiar, but Elincia can’t help how her stomach is still twisting in such terrible knots. “Speak your mind.”

Elincia’s not sure she should. “If…if you think that I-, that I’m stronger, that I could be even better, then-, then maybe…” she bites her lip for a moment, but Uncle Renning does not rush her, “…maybe I could be a guard? Maybe-, maybe even a-, a-.”

“Maybe a knight?”

The idea somehow seems more outlandish from her uncle’s tongue than her own.

Elincia nods, her hands as tight as her stomach. “Just like Geoffrey wants to be. I-, I could squire, and learn to ride, and-.”

“Elincia.”

She is quiet again, and her eyes go low.

Uncle Renning sighs and leans back in his seat. “I suppose you’ve had this in mind for a while.”

Elincia nods again and after a moment reaches for her uncle’s hand. “If I trained in the capital then Mother and Father wouldn’t have to go so far to see me, and neither would you. Or I-, I could squire in Delbray, and be with-.”

“Lucia would not have the time for you.”

Her eyes go wide but Elincia refuses to take the words to heart, “She-.”

But Uncle Renning just shakes his head, his lips thin and stern. “She may be your companion here, but there she is the scion of her household. The earldom of Delbray is not large, but it is a lynchpin of Crimea’s border. To distract her from her education as heir would be a disservice to Crimea.”

Elincia does not wilt, but only because she’s so sure that her uncle can be convinced. “I wouldn’t distract her! I-, I’d be training too, to be a guard, or a squire, or-, or anything, I-.” Her eyes are burning, and Elincia doesn’t realize that her cheek is wet until Uncle Renning thumbs a tear aside.

“What is the matter, child?” He is never so gentle as when she’s upset, but that only makes Elincia’s eyes burn the more. She doesn’t want to see the worried crinkle between his brows or the concern that tightens his jaw, so Elincia hides against her uncle’s shoulder and fists her numb hands in his shirt.

She is somehow more courageous now that she can’t see. “…I don’t want to be a princess anymore.”

Uncle Renning is still for a long moment before his arms come around her, “And why is that?”

Elincia doesn’t know how to make him see, how to tell him that she hates living like this, alone but for the brief presence of servants, separated so often now from her only friends. It isn’t fair that she has to stay here, to be kept hidden from enemies she’s never even seen. She-, oh, she isn’t even sick anymore, or anywhere near so weak as she was as a child. “I just don’t,” Elincia whispers. “I can’t see mother and father, I can’t see you, m-my friends are gone, I’m here e-everyday all alone a-and I-.”

Her words fail. She’s not sure what else she could say anyway.

After a moment there is a weight against her hair. Uncle Renning rests his head against hers for a moment before speaking, his voice low and gentle, “Your parents never wished for you to be lonesome.”

Then maybe they shouldn’t keep her so far away.

Elincia hasn’t the courage to say that aloud. She isn’t so sure that Uncle Renning doesn’t know her thoughts anyway.

He is quiet another moment, his embrace tighter, “You must know this is not something I may grant you.”

“Mother can,” Elincia says, her words soft in a misery she can’t shake. “Father can. And th-they will, if you-.”

Uncle Renning sighs again, “If I convince them.”

“Will you?” Elincia pleads, pushing back so that she can see her uncle’s face, even though her eyes are still wet and red. “Oh, will you please? I-, I don’t want to be kept here anymore, I’ll do whatever it takes! I’ll train harder, I’ll-.”

“My dear.” He is gentle again, his brows curved up in a sympathy that she nearly can’t bear to see. “This has so little to do with your dedication.”

Elincia lifts a hand to dry her eyes, even though she isn’t sure she can keep from crying. “I don’t want to be a princess anymore.” She trembles, much as she tries not to. “I-, I don’t even want to be Elincia Ridell.” She’s never said that aloud before. Never admitted to how-, to how much she can’t stand being herself, if all she can be is what she already is.

Uncle Renning’s eyes are heavy, his jaw set and stern. “…I never imagined you were so unhappy.”

She hasn’t always been, but this separation is nothing she can stand anymore. Not when Lucia is absent so often, and for so long. Not when Geoffrey is gone too, away meeting people Elincia will never know and traveling to places she will never see. “Please,” she begs, her uncle’s hand again taken and held tight. “I know you could convince them, I just know it.”

His eyes are no less heavy, but his hand goes loose beneath her own, “To be a knight is not only to wield steel. Do you understand this?” Elincia bites her lip, but Uncle Renning continues before she can speak. “It is also to be steel. To be unflinching, unyielding. To march towards death with blood on your teeth and courage in your breast. To takes the lives of others and to give all of yourself in turn, without hesitation.” 

His fingers tighten, but only enough so that Elincia can feel the callouses of his palm. “To be a knight is to die, such that others might live. Are you prepared to die, my dear?”

Elincia’s eyes widen before she can stop them. Her flesh is chilled. She might be pale.

She says she is, but the words are weak. Stuttered and timid.

Uncle Renning’s face does not change. His hand is still gentle though, his voice yet soft, “…You realize I can make you no promises?”

Elincia does not breathe. “But you’ll try?”

Uncle Renning dips his head, and Elincia’s lips spread in a so immediate a joy.

—

She will not be a knight.

Uncle Renning tells her the next time he comes. He has a letter from Mother, and a gift from Father.

Elincia takes both and throws them in the fire. She spends the rest of the evening sobbing in her room.

Lucia is not there to comfort her. Geoffrey is not there to distract her from anger. Uncle Renning spends an hour waiting outside her door before he leaves, the retreating sound of his steps enough to make Elincia’s tears again flow swift and steady.

She is alone again, just like she always will be.

—

Uncle Renning returns the next day.

There is a pegasus beside him. A creature with wings so large and lovely that Elincia just cannot look away.


End file.
